1. Cold calling someone and telling them you’re from your old company
And then carrying on because you’re too embarrassed to say you’ve got it wrong.Won’t be getting commission on that one then.
2. First day in new office: Phone lines (check), Internet (check), Stationary (check)
“Oh shit we need to buy bin bags” (that’s when it starts getting real).
3. Getting Voicemail right
Redoing your voicemail message 30 times to make it right. Going to the extent of crossing the road every time someone walks within ear shot, so they don’t hear you saying the same thing over and over again.
Yeah, I’ve never done that
4. Your 12 year old bank manager doesn’t have a sense of humour. Shout About London: “Can we have branded business account cards please”
Bank manager (dead pan): “Only on the kid’s accounts sir”
Okay! I feel a bit silly now. How do I win some respect back?
Apparently saying we should “get back to our Alphabetti
Spaghetti then” might come across as sarcastic.
5. Wearing Company colours that don’t get noticed
Constantly pointing out that you’re wearing your company’s shade of Red doesn’t impress people. Unless you’re Coca-Cola (and then people notice anyway)
6. Being excited by the end of the month.
Then remembering it’s only bills these days
7. The Website going live next week
Always allow for anything IT related to take a year longer than you expected.
8. Always stay for another pint
The plus side to this is you can always bond more after a drink or two. Some of the most useful contacts/information/favours we’ve gleaned have been after we’ve agreed to stay for ‘one more’. The downside is you’re always hungover and if one more turns into ten more, you could undo all your hard work with one slip of the tongue (that wouldn’t ever happen to us though).
9. Over pronouncing your company name – so people get it right
“We’re from SHOUT. ABOUT. LONDON!“
*Lady wipes spit off her face*
“I’ll let them know you’re here sir”
10. Telling everyone Johnny Depp is coming to your event
Anyway. Moving on.